The Ultimate Unconventional Father’s Day Gift Guide
Giving a lame gift is... well, lame. Show him some love and get him something interesting this father's day.
For the Dad who scarred you for life:
The door hanger ($27):
“Why is Mommy screamin… OH MY GOD!”
For the Dad who likes to drink:
The booze lock ($30):
Remember in high school when you used to steal your rents’ liquor and either take a little at a time and hope they didn’t notice or just fill the bottle back up with something else? So does your Dad. Share a laugh, and a drink with him this father’s day.
Tipsy Melting Glasses ($145):
These 6 glasses are expensive, so you’ll probably want to chip in with your brothers and sisters. They’re sweet though, so if your Dad is the kind of guy who kicks back with a scotch every night, they’re worth it.
Poisoned Beer ($15):
Surprise your Dad with a freshly poured beer and walk away. He’ll get to the bottom and find out how much you love him.
For the Dad who paid for your college education:
Faux dollar bill fire lighters (£6.50 ~ $10):
Get him these so he can visualize himself burning through his savings.
The Toothpaste Tube Wringer ($25):
Now that he’s broke, he can’t afford to waste anything. Help him make the most of what he has left.
The Book of Luxury Toys ($15):
Let him fantasize about what he could have bought with his money if he never had kids.
You Are Here Poster ($60):
If he’s putting you through all of Med School, you better get him this.
For the Dads who can cook:
Gun Egg Fryer ($15):
How does he like his eggs? Armed and dangerous with a yolk in the chamber…?
Or is he more of an old-school Dad ($50)?
For truly legendary meals.
Taste explosion grenade salt & pepper shakers ($14):
Unleash the seasoning.
M-16 BBQ Lighter ($10):
Light it up!
For the Dad who watches too much Law & Order or CSI:
The crime scene shower mat ($28):
Because he knows that you can’t just shower off the blood to get rid of the evidence.
For the King of the porcelain throne:
Strong-man toilet paper holder ($32):
Going to the bathroom is like working out; you lose weight every time.
For the techie Dad:
ZAGG InvisibleSHIELD Screen Protector ($15-35):
That’s one badass screen protector. Get one at Zagg.com for any device.
For the single Dad:
Inflatable Twister ($2000):
Your Dad is middle-aged and single. He’s either already getting wild, or he needs to. Too bad this is so expensive…
Dollar bills ($Variable):
Give him a bunch of singles so he can go to the Gentleman’s club and make it rain on that **cat**.
For the dorky Dad:
Stormtrooper cufflinks ($130):
Star Wars cufflinks should do the trick. Pretty expensive, but he’ll feel like a Jedi every time he puts them on.
Batman Logo Evolution Poster ($37):
This poster shows the evolution of the batman logo over the past 72 years. If he’s into comic books, you can’t go wrong here.
For the Dad who always yells at you for texting at the dinner table:
Heart-felt card ($4):
It’s also the cheapest option on my list.
For the All-American Dad:
45mm key ($8):
Obama isn’t taking away his guns, and now he can be strapped no matter where he goes.
Meat America ($30):
4th of July is coming up. ‘Murica.
For the Dad who never throws the paper away:
The paper briquette log maker ($32):
Can’t convince the old man to throw away the papers? Have him turn them into a log that you can use to keep a fire going instead.
For the Zombie-obsessed Dad:
We ate your stick family decal ($4):
For the Golf Dad:
Self-deprecating golf ball (£10.99 ~ $17):
Not every shot can be a winner, but at least it won’t be his fault.
Golf Club Pens ($26):
Old guys love cool desk decorations.
The Batmogolfcart ($???):
The best part about playing golf is driving around the golf cart. If you find out where you can buy this, let me know.
Or keep it simple and get him a sweet card:
Did I miss something awesome? Shoot me an email – adam[at]dormstormer[dot]com.